your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel great
I just peed on a car
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
