I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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