new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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