i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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