Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
