i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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