Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
handjob tips. give me some.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
