You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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