"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
two words...techno handjob
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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