K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
