So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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