I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize