Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
