It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
