we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
