Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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