i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize