I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
