yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
