What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
