That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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