eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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