I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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