Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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