haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize