So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
