so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
