I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
