Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
