I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
