:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
