i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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