A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
