I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
