It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize