like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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