Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You're like the curious george of whores
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
