why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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