Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
