you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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