it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
