Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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