Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
