considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
