I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
