Your mouth is God's brothel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
