There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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