We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
