dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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