Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I look excited, but its just a facade.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
