it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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