I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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