everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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