yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
