i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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