This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize