mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Another day, another engagement, another cat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
