don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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